I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
