You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
