I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I touched a dick in church today
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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