I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
