i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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