They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
