We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
