I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
