the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
