He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
