No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
