we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dick very happy bro
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
