so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize