I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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