did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
