Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
