This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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