They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize