If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
