I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
