Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
