thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
