Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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