Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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