It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
