Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
