well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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