she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
