there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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