i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
