matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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