thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
