Don't you send me to vm
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
