It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
