Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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