she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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