it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
