I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
