good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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