We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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