I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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