Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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