this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
