i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
