honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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