i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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