I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
