Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
