I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
