Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
