i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
