3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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