Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
