Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
