fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
