im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
