You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
