Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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