i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
