k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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