Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
